Outside my window the rowan across the street is in full autumn pomp, a flame in the dreichness. Next month migrating waxwings will land as they do every year to steal its fruits. This scene, of nature in balance is reassuring, especially when I can’t bear to hear the news: Gaza, Ukraine, Government corruption, culture and gender wars, mass surveillance, poverty and, most frightening, the bitter whirlwind about to be reaped as a consequence of climate change.

With world events so bleak and overwhelming, I cling to small things: the rowan tree, the wildfowl in my local park, music, cooking, writing, photography and making small forward steps on my Tilo film. I also have the welcome distraction of watching films submitted to the 2023 British Independent Film Awards – aka BIFA. This is my fourth year as a voter in what’s arguably the most interesting category. It’s also a chance to bring my critical skills to the table and help decide the winner.

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The first days of 2019 have been unusually busy for this unemployed housewife; work on the script for my new film, Tilo in Real Life, a submission – a long shot – to the US in relation to a major project about Tom Polgar/CIA which I’ve been researching over the last eighteen months or so. I’ve begun to sketch out another script idea, potentially my first live action film since 2003. I’m also fielding requests about screening Voyageuse with my usual cautious pessimism.

After the high of the BIFAs the film attracted a small amount of publicity and comment; an interview with Phil Miller in The Herald, plus a very welcome mention by Peter Bradshaw in The Guardian, coming shortly after his four-star review of the film. It was truly special to swap messages with him during the BIFA ceremony after he tweeted how pleased he was that the film had won. I was surprised too when Siobhan Synnot announced me as her Person of the Moment on STV’s Scotland Tonight. Seems I have a lot to live up to.

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For weeks now I’ve tried to settle in my shed to complete the screenplay for Tilo in Real Life only to be distracted by the ongoing business of Voyageuse. This week proved no different. On Wednesday – Halloween – I travelled to Bristol where the film was scheduled to screen at the Watershed followed by a Q&A.

En route, I received the news that V. has been nominated for the Discovery Award at this year’s BIFAs – the British Independent Film Awards. A few months ago, out of the blue I received a call from BIFA asking if I’d care to submit. After perusing the various categories I decided the Discovery Award was my only shot, thinking – somewhat glumly – that a film with as many festival rejections as V didn’t stand much of a chance. For once I’m glad to be proved wrong.

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